Jokes of October 21, 2020

Don't you just hate those people who walk around without even bothering to see where they're going? I especially despise the ones who wear those dark sunglasses and carry around a weird stick with them.

I love the transition from Fall to Winter. I get the see all the leaves change from green to red and orange then gently fall off the tree branch, leaving it bare. It also makes it easier to chuck rocks at those birds who keep using the top of my car as their personal toilet.

The Commission of Political Debates has stated that for some portions of the final debate, they will be muting the mics of both President Donald Trump and ex-Vice President Joe Biden. When asked which portions will they be muting, they replied "don't worry, it'll only be the first ninety-minutes".

Jokes of September 29

exclusively presented on September 30th

One thing I realized is you can't substitute vanilla for vanilla chapstick. It really ruins your girlfriend's birthday cake.

Everyone nowadays just plugs in their headphones to ignore people. I prefer the old-fashion approach of yelling "LEAVE ME ALONE".

Kissing in the rain may help you get to home base but kissing during a hurricane will definitely guarantee it. I don't remember if they allow you to share hospital beds though.

Jokes of September 15

Do not eat the crickets at Petsmart. They are not free samples.

I enjoy going to open houses, but I must say, it's much more thrilling going into closed houses. I find that they feel more lived-in.

Before coins, people used to just flip themselves. You did not want to land on heads.